How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i believe in u and ur pee
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
