you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
