Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
