Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize