I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think I sprained my soul last night
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have fence marks all over my body
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
