I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
