I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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