A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Acid is not a monday night drug
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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