Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
