Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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