He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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