Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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