I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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