I need help removing her.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Fuck appropriateness.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
