Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
