I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
