Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
