Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize