what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
