i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's just like the Real World with babies
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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