I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So squirting runs in the family.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
