I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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