He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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