Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So many bounce houses so little time
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
