yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
