i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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