I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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