You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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