eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I am available for nakedness
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
