So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
