I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
