Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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