Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
