I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
false alarm. still invincible.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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