i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
