What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
