He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
