I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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