So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
