The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
