I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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