I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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