If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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