i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
