I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
