wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
this just has baby written all over it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
