Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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