I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
