Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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