So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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