hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
