Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
