we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
