i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
