So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
