Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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