Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
