we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
