I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This house was built for laser tag.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
