Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
