it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
