Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
