U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
