just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
