i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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