found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
