yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
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