i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I supernannyed him into submission
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
